Why Do I Stay?
by The Blonde Midget
Summary: Jou ponders on why he stays with a man that doesn’t even say that he loves him. Why don’t he leave? Let’s dive into the life of Katsuya Jounouchi, and have a look on his relationship with the cold hearted CEO, Seto Kaiba. JouSeto FLUFF AHEAD!
1. Chapter 1

-clears my throat- Well, hello again! A new story and a new plot, with my all time favourite pairing; Seto/Jou!

Seto: -- Why does she keep nagging on us?

Jou: Well, I sorta like these stories...

Me: Why, of course you do! We all do! ...-glares at homophobes- Yes. We do. And if you don't, then leave.

Err, anyways. This is a one shot,(I think it's gonna be anyway). And it will be told in Jou's POV.

Plot: Jou ponders on why he stays with a man that doesn't even say that he loves him. Why don't he leave? Let's dive into the life of Katsuya Jounouchi, and have a look on his relationship with the cold hearted CEO, Seto Kaiba.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! Now, you've heard it, so leave me alone! –glares at lawyers.-

Pairings: Seto/Jou.

Warnings: Yeah...boy/boy love, and some slight swearing.

Okay, I'll leave you to it, and I'll talk more to you on the end! D

Jou's POV 

Have you ever been in love? I mean, like _really_ in love, when it feels like you can't breath or exist if that person wasn't there? Have you ever felt like that? I have. I still do.

And it sucks.

My name is Katsuya Jounouchi, and I am the boyfriend of Seto Kaiba.

Boyfriend and boyfriend, by the way. I don't know if you can call it that, seeing that the guy doesn't even say that he loves me. How hard can it be to say it anyway? It's three small words, none with more letters then four!

I Love You.

Easy, right? And Seto's a genius, extra easy for him, right? Not according to Seto. No, to him it's too hard to tell his own boyfriend.

Of course he tells Mokuba that he loves him, but it's not really the same. It's his brother, you're supposed to love your siblings! I love Shizuka, my little sister. But I also love him.

Seto Kaiba, I love you!

I have told him that numerous times, but he never say 'I love you too'. Instead, he gives me a kiss or something like that. Of course it's nice, but it's not the same. I want to hear those damn words!

-sigh-

But it really doesn't matter. Seto will never say that he loves me, if not Mokuba is under gun threat, or someone will destroy his company if he don't say that he loves me.

I know that I sound like a bitter ex-wife, but I just want him to say that he loves me! He don't understand how much that would mean to me if he did. I'd be able to die happily in the next second, as long as I'd heard him say that he loves me!

'Well, that's not a big deal', you probably think. Yeah, maybe you're right.

But that's not all. Beside the lack of verbal love, he doesn't really show that he loves me in any other way.

Of course we kiss and such, and we have made love several times, every time very hot and thrilling, mind you. But...

In public, he never does something like that. People know abut our relationship, and are fine with it (though Honda fainted when we told him.) But he doesn't even hold my hand!

For example, during lunch at school. He sits with me and my friends, because I asked him to (it took me three hours of begging and some puppy eyes to make him do that.) During the whole time, he sits with his laptop, and works like there's no tomorrow. If I try to just hug him or something, he push me away and tell me not to be in the way.

It hurts. It hurts really much, though I try not to let it show. But Yugi notice. And so do the other guys. I've had several fights with Honda over it, him telling me to dump Seto, before I get a serious heartbreak. But I can't, I need Seto. He's just everything I ever wanted!

But it still feels like my heart is about to brake when he push me away. And lately, it has been worse than usual.

In the beginning of our relationship, Seto used to spend time with me all the time. He worked only a few hours in the morning, and then he came home to me and Mokuba, played games and such. And at the nights we...

Ahem, played some different types of games.

But then, as suddenly as it begun, Seto stared working more. Two weeks, I had the best life ever, and then it was just pulled away from me. By the damn Kaiba Corp. Seto told me that the company had suffered since he and I got together. It was very close that it ended right there, because Seto claimed that he wouldn't have enough time for me. But I told him that I would stay with him, no matter how much he worked.

Boy, was I in for a challenge.

Seto got up 5 am every morning, to work for two hours and then he woke me up. We ate breakfast together with Mokuba, while Seto read the stocks in a boring newspaper(tried to read it once, I almost fell asleep.) Then we went to school until 16:00, where I barely got any time to speak to him either. Then I went home to the mansion, and Seto went to work at Kaiba Corp.

He always said he'd be home to dinner by 19:00, he promised me and Mokuba that.

I remember Mokuba's face when I said we had to start eating without Seto the first time. "But, big brother will be home soon! I promise, lets give him five more minutes." The clock was then 19:30. We waited five minutes, then five more minutes, and five more after that. I almost had to force Mokuba to eat.

After dinner, Mokuba and I sat down by the TV, and waited for Seto to come home. By 21:30, Mokuba had to go to bed, and still Seto hadn't come home. The little kid was devastated, but he soon fell asleep anyway. I know for a fact that he cried himself to sleep.

I decided to wait for Seto, but when he wasn't home by 23:00, I had to go to bed. After all, the day after was a school day. I remember being quite angry with Seto when I crawled into bed.

I woke up by hearing silent footsteps in the stairs, and a door opening and closing silently. But I didn't sit up, seeing that I was far to tired.

I knew who it was anyways.

I heard small noises from clothes being pulled off and put on, and then felt a weight next to me. I slowly opened my eyes to look at the clock beside our bed. Red, digital numbers told me that it was 01:54 in the morning. I felt two arms around my waist, and a warm body against mine. A small, and tired sigh was heard, and then Seto's low and dark voice.

"I'm sorry, Katsuya."

He didn't know I was awake by then. And I didn't tell him. Not until the morning, anyway. Then we had quite a fight, ending with me close to tears, and Seto pulling me into his arms and apologizing. And, once again, he promised to be home by 19:00.

He didn't make it that time either. And not the time after that. Not the one after that either. It hurt. I was the one that had to tell Mokuba to go to bed, without him getting a goodnight hug by his brother, and I was the one to comfort him when he was sad over it.

After a while, we stopped waiting for Seto, knowing that he wouldn't be on time anyway. He was never home until after midnight, and then he just sneaked into bed with me, and pulled me into his arms. How he managed to get up in 5 o'clock every damn morning is still a mystery to me.

But I still stayed. I didn't leave him. Both for my and Mokuba's sake. I knew that Mokuba wouldn't be able to handle it on his own, to lose both me and his big brother.

For, truly, it felt like we had lost Seto. He barely spoke to us, and only worked. The only words Mokuba got was a 'good morning' and a 'Good buy, have a nice day in school and behave.' I could see in Mokuba's face how sad he was over it, though the little guy never let it show when Seto was around.

He was used to it. He told me once that it had been like that before. Before I came along, Seto worked at the same hard schedule. And when he and I got together, Mokuba said it felt like his brother was back.

And then it all started over again.

My friends have numerous times told me to leave Seto. "Why do you stay, Jou?" They all ask me. And why do I stay?

I told you earlier, I love him, and I can't really imagine life without him.

But I've just about had it. Today, is a special day. It is for me, anyway. It's my birthday! The 25'th of January. And Seto promised to spend the day with me. Promised, as in, cross my heart and pray to die, promised.

I had planned it all out myself. I wanted me and Seto to go on a picnic, in the garden! His garden is like a whole, friggin' park! And I love it, Seto knows that.

So, I made a wonderful lunch! I cooked (yes _cooked)_ a nice meal, consisting of a chocolate cake, spaghetti with meatballs (yes, very original) and some nice wine. Also, I made some very nice cookies, which I spent almost a whole hour decorating with frosting.

With sweet words like, 'I love you', 'Forever yours', and 'You and I 4-ever'.

Then I went out to the park and put out a blanket on the grass (there was no snow outside, it was quite warm for being January). I put out the food, and then went inside to wait for Seto. He had said that he'd take the day off, and be home by two o'clock.

When the clock turned a quarter to two, the phone rang. I picked it up and said, in my most happiest and cheerful voice; "Kaiba mansion, Katsuya Jounouchi speakin'!"

It was Seto's secretary, Yume Naruto. I knew her quite well, because it was often her I got to speak to when I called Seto at work. Guess what she said.

"Jou, Mr. Kaiba asked me to tell you that he can't make it home in time."

My god mood swayed a little, and then I spoke again. "Oh, okay. When will he be home then? Three?"

"Probably not until after midnight. It's a big system failure, and..." I didn't listen really after that. Tears were making my gaze foggy, and I almost sniffled. But I didn't, seeing that Yume still spoke.

"...and he has to fix it." She paused. "Jou?"

"Yeah?"

"He said he's sorry."

I felt the tears run down my face. "Yume, can ya leave him a message?"

"Sure."

"Tell him to go to hell." Then I hung up. I literally threw the phone down, and ran to my and Seto's room. Tears was running wildly down my cheeks, when I threw myself on the king-sized bed and cried violently into the sheets.

You know what they say about a heart breaking in two? It does happen.

To you, maybe it doesn't sound like a huge deal, but it was to me. For half a year, I've been strong in front of Mokuba, and I have smiled every time my friends asked how I were. But this time, I really felt betrayed. He couldn't make his way home one day, not even on his boyfriends birthday! And he had promised, promised on all holy!

Any other day, New Year, Christmas or even on our anniversary would have been okay. But when it's about birthdays...

Damn, you don't stay at work on a loved one's birthday!

Loved one...wait, I don't even know if he loves me! Of course he likes me, I mean you don't let someone you hate live in your house, and sleep in your bed. But does he care? He has never said. I don't ask him, I have never.

I'm afraid that the answer might be 'no'.

The thing that hurt most though, was that he didn't even call me himself to tell me that he couldn't make it. If he had, I would have been able to get over it. But now I know that he can't even spare me a five minute phone call! No, he makes his secretary call me to tell me that he can't make it to my birthday!

So, now I'm lying on our bed, still sniffling softly, and stare at the pillows. Would be miss me if I left? If I just picked up my stuff and left? Or if I died? Would he handle that?

Pf, he'd probably not even notice that I was gone, he'd be too busy working. It was time for me to face it; I would always be number three in his life. First it'd be Mokuba, and I can live with that. Mokuba is his brother, and the only family he's got left.

But to come on third place after a damn company! Something that's not alive, something that doesn't have feelings or a mind.

Wait, I'm probably on fourth place even. Seto's Blue Eyes White Dragon comes before me too, I guess. For, he would never ever give up his Blue Eyes for me. Another thing that doesn't really live.

Me, Katsuya Jounouchi, on fourth place in Seto Kaiba's life.

And Seto Kaiba would always be in first place in mine. (With my sister, of course.) I would do anything for him, I'd give up anything! Hell, I'd even go into space to fetch him the moon if he asked me to!

And he can't spare me five minutes of his valuable time.

So, I have made my decision. If he can't spare me a single minute, I should leave. And I will. This time, I really will leave.

I get up, and pick up my bag, a small duffle bag, and I throw down my few belongings I have in Kaiba Mansion; some clothes, my toothbrush and my Duel deck. That's all that's really mine...

My gaze turns to a photo frame on a table next to the bed. I walk there, and pick it up. It's a picture of me and Seto, together in front of a tree. I remember that, it was the first time he and I was in the park. Mokuba took a picture of us, I still remember the look on Seto's face when we told him to say cheese.

I'm grinning wildly on the photo, my arms around Seto's slim waist. Seto has his arms around my waist too, and a small, but happy smile graze his features. It was the first time I saw him smile like that, from pure joy.

I look at the photo for a few more seconds, and then I put it back on the bedside table. Tears were stinging inside my eyes. That belonged to the past now, I had to leave it behind.

I swing my bag over my shoulder and walk out of the room. When I close the door behind me, I suddenly hear a small voice beside me.

"Jou?" I turn quickly, but relax when I see who it is. It's Mokuba, who stands and watch me

with wondering eyes. Hell, I had forgotten that he was home!

"Hi, Mokuba." I say softly, and smile weakly. The small boy looks at me, and his grey eyes widen.

"Jou, have you been crying?" He asks with worry. I shrug, and chuckle.

"It's nothin' to worry 'bout, Mokuba."

It's then his eyes falls on the bag over my shoulder. I can see his eyes filling with tears, and he looks at the ground. "You are leaving..."

My heart almost cracks in two when I see the crestfallen look in his face. "Mokuba, I...I jus' can't go on like this, ya know? Please, don't hate me fer this..."

I fall on my knees in front of him, and grab his shoulders. Sobs starts to shake his small form, and he jumps into my arms. I can feel his tears wetting my shirt, but I don't care. All I want is for Mokuba to stop crying, because it's breaking my heart.

"Shhh...please, don't cry, Mokuba. I hate it when ya cry, ya know tha'..." After a few more minutes, his sobs stops, and he merely sniffles into my chest. When I feel him relaxing, I pull away, and look him seriously in the eye.

"I'm sorry, Mokuba. I really am, but I jus'...I need some time away from Seto right now." A damn lot of time, actually.

"Can't you come and visit me sometimes?"

"I don't think so...Seto probably won' let me visit after this..."

Again, Mokuba looks sad. But I think he understands. He himself is also very hurt, so he understand that I have to be alone for a while.

"Okay...but please come back, Jou! Don't...Don't leave for forever!" The small boy hugs me again, and I sigh.

"We'll see, Mokuba. We'll see."

After a few minutes, Mokuba lets go, and goes to his room again. He's not crying anymore, but I know that he's still sad. After this, he'll be alone. Again.

I sigh, and walk down the long stairs of Kaiba Mansion, and reach down to the bottom floor. Slowly, and with very regretful steps, I step up to the door, and put my hand on the handle. But, just as I'm about to push it down, the door swings outwards, and I blink.

Outside, standing completely still, is Seto.

His hair is a mess, and so is his clothes. He's panting heavily, and is looking seriously at me, with those gorgeous, blue eyes that I love. His face is pale, but still looks a little red, like he's been running.

He's wearing a pair of black costume pants, and a white, working shirt. I know that that outfit comes with a jacket, but there's no sign of it. It surprises me, because I know he never leave work without being fully dressed.

His whole appearance is wild, and messy, and he looks like he hasn't slept for days. He's still panting a little, and his hair is covering his face messily, in a way that I've never seen before. He looks crazy, unwashed, untidy, but most of all...

He looks beautiful.

I blink and stare at him with my mouth at wide agape. Wasn't he supposed to be at work, fixing some sort of emergency? I check my mental diary. Yup, that was where he was supposed to be. But then why was he standing on the doorstep of his mansion?

Seto was still panting, and his eyes gave absolutely no emotion. Slowly, the orbs of ice turns to the bag in my hand, and narrowed. Before I could react, Seto pushed me into the house again, and closed the door behind him, with a loud bang.

"Where do you think you're going, Katsuya?" He asks, with that deep voice I've learned to love. But it doesn't contain any emotion, and therefore it isn't as beautiful as it usually is.

I look him straight in the eye when I speak. "I'm leaving."

Seto's eyes are still void of any emotion.

"Why?"

'Why?' The proper question should be, 'why haven't I left _yet_?' My eyes glow, and I decide to tell him what I've been thinking about lately. I drop the bag on the floor, and point my finger to his chest.

"Because I can't fuckin' stand it anymore, Seto! I can't stand bein' pushed aside, I can't stand bein' the only one trying to make this relationship work, and I can't stand watchin' ya leave all we once had behind!" I take a deep breath and continue, this time with a softer voice.

"Remember when we first got together? You used to take me in your arms whenever you got a chance, and kiss me wherever we were. You spent every minute of yer free time with me and Mokuba, played games and had fun with us."

"And ya used to smile, Seto. You always had a smile in store for me and Mokuba, and ya showed us affection. But now..." I sigh deeply. "...now, all you have time for is Kaiba Corp! You've forgotten all about us, me and Mokuba. Yer own little brother, Seto!"

"It feels like we've lost ya. You're hardly home anymore, and if ya once in a while get home, ya work. Tell me the last time you played with Mokuba. Tell me when you showed me or Mokuba any affection or that you care..."

I pause. Seto's face has softened a little, and he looks sort of ashamed. I don't want to continue saying these things, they won't do any good.

No, I'm going to ask the question I've always wanted to have answered.

"Seto, do you love me?"

The question seems to stun him. He stares at me with wide eyes, and open and closes his mouth. But not a sound falls from his lips. I have to make him answer.

I look down on the floor to gather courage. Then I look back up at him, and look him straight in the eye. "Seto, please answer me. I need to know if you love me, if you ever have. Or was I jus'...somethin' to pass time with?"

I chuckle sadly. "Ya know, I've never dared to ask this question before, because I was afraid of the answer. But now, I need to know. I need to know if...if ya care."

Seto's voice is filled with unreadable emotion when he speaks. "I care for you, pup."

I sigh, and look down on the floor. "Yes. But do ya love me?"

Seto looks at me for a few seconds. Then he puts both hands on my cheeks, and kiss me softly. The kiss is sweet, and very warm, filled with emotion. But he didn't answer me. Tears runs down my cheeks, when he pulls away from me.

"I care." He whispers, and dry away my tears with his thumbs. But I won't leave it like that. No, I need to know, I need to hear the words.

"Seto, please...can't ya jus'...t-tell me how ya feel about me? Don'...I jus'...I want more than a kiss, I want a damn answer, damnit!" Anger suddenly fill me, and I pull away from his hands. I turn and pick up my bag.

"I'm jus' gonna go now..." I raise my hand to pull down the handle, but then two hands on my shoulders turns me around. I stare up in blue, cerulean eyes, filled with an emotion I've never seen in Seto's eyes.

Desperation.

"Stay."

Then he kiss me again, with such force that I drop my bag, and must put my hands on his shoulders to prevent myself from collapsing. The kiss is overwhelming my senses, and his taste drives me wild, like it always has. But I still won't let him do this, just kiss me and think it'll all be alright.

I turn my head to the side, and pant heavily. "Let go of me, Seto!" I try to squirm away from his firm grip around my waist, but he's too strong. Tears falls from my eyes again, and I sob.

Seto looks at me with a hesitant expression, and he looks like he's about to say something. But he closed his mouth, and leans to my ear.

I'm prepared for him to say that he doesn't love me, that all I ever was, was a toy to play with. Something to fool around with. The thing I've always suspected and feared. Then a low whisper caress my ear, saying the words I least expected.

"I do."

"Huh?" I blink. What did he mean? I couldn't understand what he possibly meant with that, just randomly saying, 'I do.'

A low sigh is heard from Seto, and then he speaks again.

"Your earlier question, puppy. I do."

"...the 'Do ya remember when we first got together?'-question?" I ask hesitantly, not quite

understanding what he means. Seto sighs again, and then chuckle a little.

"No. About the, 'do you love me?'-question. I do."

My heart flutter inside my chest, and my mouth falls open. He...He didn't...

Seto pulls away, and looks me straight in the eye. A small smile has formed on his lips, and he softly caress my cheek.

"I love you, Katsuya Jounouchi. With all my heart, soul and being." And he kiss me again, a slow and loving kiss with all of his love poured into it.

------

So, to all of you still wondering why I stay;

I stay because I love Seto Kaiba.

And because Seto Kaiba loves me.

END 

Yay, happy ending! –dance around in giddyness- YAY! SETO/JOU GOODNESS!

...err, yeah. Well, that was another little oneshot that I've wanted to do, I hope you all liked it! But I might add another chapter on this, in Seto's POV. About what his view on this were, and why he came home when he did. What do you all think?

Plotting, plotting... Anyways, tell me what you thought, and what you think about the added chapter thing.


	2. Why I won't let you go

Okay then.

It seems that many liked the idea of having another chapter, soo...I decided to do another D

And it will be in Seto's POV, just as I promised. And a small OC, Yume Naruto, Seto's loyal secretary. Okay then, lets get the story going! Chapter 2 of Why Do I Stay, coming up...

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, nor the characters or the plot.

Seto's POV 

First of all, I'm an idiot.

That is the first thing I must remind you of. I am one of the biggest idiots on this god forsaken planet, called the Earth.

Got that? Good.

Second of all; I have issues. Major issues, as Mokuba and my secretary so kindly pointed out to me. And what is my issues?

Showing emotions.

It's not that I don't have them, because I do. Unfortunately, I must add, I also have human emotions. How easy life would've been if I hadn't.

But I also have the very useful ability of shutting those feelings off, or simply hiding them. One thing Gozoburo Kaiba taught me during the training he put me through. As Jou sometimes say, I am like a living ice-cube.

Ah, talking about Jou; He's my boyfriend. We've dated for half a year, or a little more, I'm not completely certain. It feels like he's always been there. And I must admit, I am very happy that he's in my life.

Who else would take care of Mokuba while I worked?

Katsuya Jounouchi, my boyfriend and babysitter for my little brother.

Talking about my little brother...I love him. My brother is the only family I've got left, and he's one of the things that keeps me going. If he hadn't been there, I probably would have fallen into depression a long time ago. And I still would have been in Gozoburo's clutches.

But, I always fail in being the big brother he deserves. I know that. And I can live with that. Mokuba still knows that I love him, without me telling him. He, though, always tells me how much he loves me.

And so does Jou.

Everyday since we got together, he manage to sneak in those three words.

I Love You.

But, I never say them back. Why not?

Because love has done nothing for me to be deserved to be mention.

Don't get me wrong; I care for my little puppy. I always will, and can't stop, even how hard I try. But love?

I don't know. Love is an emotion I have troubles understanding.

And I have always been taught that love is a foolish emotion, that it doesn't exist and that it makes you weak. Also, if you never love, you can't get hurt, right?

I know I love Mokuba. We are of the same flesh and blood, and we have gone through our whole life's together. The foster home, Gozoburo Kaiba, and the death of our parents. Mokuba, I know how I feel about him.

But Jou...it's complicated, but I'll try to explain what I feel.

When I first saw him, together with Yugi and the others, the first thing that crossed my mind were how much he reminded me of a dog. That messy hair, those honey coloured eyes that contained the same trustful look of a puppy and of course, the growls he made when angered.

In the beginning, I thought I hated him. The way he acted tough, the way he tried to prove himself to me, tried to win over me and show that he was just as good as me. I always thought he was foolish, and never missed a chance of telling him so.

But later on, I found him quite interesting. He stood out from the silent crowd, and caught my gaze and my interest. Without even trying, he did all of that. So, I started to look at him closer.

Soon, I found that he was very good-looking. Many girls in school drooled over him, because he was so handsome. But I got to see him naked in the showers after PE. So, I got too see really how beautiful he was.

And he was brave, and stubborn. Never gave up, even when the odds were totally against him. He kept fighting me, even though we both knew that I'd win.

I admire that.

We started dating around six months ago, as I said earlier. It was he who made the first move actually. Maybe not too gracefully, but he did the first move.

He tripped and ended up kissing me in the middle of the classroom.

The other students stared at him, gaping as our lips were pressed together, him in my lap, hands on my chest. I remember that I felt like I was dreaming, everything was so surreal.

But I enjoyed it nonetheless.

He pulled away immediately, blushing madly and stuttering excuses. I had figured out that I found him interesting then, and I wanted to try it out, see what it would lead to.

So, I smirked, grabbed his collar and kissed him for real. He gasped against me, and I took the invitation to his mouth. Of course, Jou couldn't stand against me, so he responded to the kiss.

The silence that followed was so deep that you could have heard a needle fall to the ground.

It was then that our teacher, (a young woman that flirts with me unnecessary much), decided to enter. I remember her screaming so loudly that the principal came rushing in, and he got a heart attack, so they had to rush him to the hospital. But I just kept kissing that wonderful boy in my lap.

And so, we started dating. Not too romantic, but still.

But, do I love him, you ask?

I don't know. Every time I see him, my mind brighten, and the day seems better on the whole. When we kiss, make love, or simply link hands, my whole body tingles, and my stomach flips. When I watch him smile, or hear him laugh, it makes my day perfect.

Is that love?

Or is it love, the way I feel when I watch him in the middle of the night? When I watch him sleep peacefully next to me, in my arms? That warm feeling I get before I fall asleep, and the happy feeling when I wake up next to him every morning?

That feeling it feels I'd die without?

Is that love?

Maybe.

I don't know.

Not until most recently, I found out what love was.

I'm laying in my bed, with a sleeping Katsuya in my arms. I'm watching him silently while he sleeps, one of my favourite activities of late. His face is peaceful, and a small smile is on his lips, telling me that he's having a nice dream. And he should, seeing that we have just shared a perfect, and wonderful night of love-making.

The day (more like night) is the 25'th of January. The happiest day in my life.

The day my puppy was born.

But, it was close to be the most horrifying day of my life as well.

The day started good, though. I woke up at five, with my sleeping boyfriend in my arms. The perfect way of waking up, I think. Seeing the perfect, and beautiful human being sleeping next to me, and feeling the wonderful smell of his hair. Apples, and also a slight tinge of something that can not be described, but make me want to smile.

I got up, as usual, to do some work before Jou woke up and...distracted me. He is very good at doing that, believe me.

At seven, Jou skipped into my office, only dressed in a pair of pyjama pants, and a large smile plastered on his face. It surprised me, because Jou was, no, _is_, the latest sleeper I know. At the moment out eyes met, he jumped into my arms and cried out;

"Good morning, Seto!" Sometimes, I highly suspect that he's on drugs.

I chuckled, and petted his hair, the soft and so silky strands of apple scented hair. "Good morning yourself, puppy."

He smiled even wider, and got up from me. "Seto! Do ya know what day it is today!"

I decided to tease him a bit, so I leaned back in my chair and smirked. "Why, yes, yes I do. It's the 25'th of January. Why do you ask?"

Jou pouted adorably, making me want to throw him down on the floor and ravish him to an inch of his life. "Seto! It's my birthday today, damnit!"

I smiled, a very sincere smile, and rose. Then I pulled him close to me, whispering softly; "You think I'd forget something that important?" Then I kissed him, soft and tenderly, my body immediately reacting to his taste.

Strawberries and chocolate, mixed with an exotic taste that could not be named. My favourite taste in the world.

Jou submitted in the matter of seconds, responding to me in his sweet and loving way. Those kisses made my day, really.

When we pulled away, he leaned his head on m shoulder, sighing contently. Then he said it, those three words that I had such a hard time understanding.

"I love you, Seto." I smile, and kiss his cheek softly.

"You should get dressed, pup." I mumble in his ear, successfully avoiding the subject.

He immediately pulled away, a slight sad expression flashing in his eyes, before he grinned at me. But the grin seemed kind of forced. "Yeah, ya're right. See ya downstairs." Then he walked out of the room, and slammed the door after him.

Now, that should have made me worried. The hurt expression, and the slamming of doors. Especially the slamming of the door. Jou only slammed doors like that when he was angry or upset.

But I shrugged it off, and finished some more work, before heading down to eat breakfast with Jou.

He was sitting by the table already, waiting for me. To my surprise, he had made me breakfast; a cup of steaming coffee and a plate of newly made waffles. I blinked and stared at the food, bewildered.

"Katsuya, isn't it me who should be making _you_ breakfast, seeing that it is your birthday today?" I ask, an raise one eyebrow to him.

The blond shook his head, and smiled sweetly to me. "Nah, tha's so old fashioned. And besides, ya always make me food. I thought I'd repay the favour!"

At that, I smiled. That was my Katsuya, always so unselfish. That was probably the reason that he hadn't left yet. He was to unselfish to leave me and Mokuba, even though he maybe wasn't happy about me not spending so much time with him.

We ate quite quickly, Jou talking happily, and me listening to the wonderful sound of his voice. For, Katsuya has the most wonderful voice. It has a ring to it, that strikes my nerves in a way that makes me want to smile.

When the food was eaten, I told Jou that I had to go to work. The look on Jou's face was so crestfallen that it looked like he would cry.

"But, Seto...You said you'd be home wit' me today! You promised..." His voice faded, and he looked down on the table. I immediately walked up to him, and lifted his chin.

"Pup, I always keep my promises. I will spend the day with you, but first I have to go to the office, and make some work done, and give my employees some directions. Then I'll spend the rest of the day with you, and celebrate your birthday in any way you like. " I hoped that my words would make the sad look on his face disappear, because I really hate it when he's sad.

Jou's eyes lit up, and he smiled widely. "Really?"

"Really." I said, and graced him with one of my rare smiles. That made him grin even wider, and he jumped on me, hugging me tight.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou!" He chanted, and then kissed me on the lips, a far to small kiss for my liking. But still, it was nice.

After giving him a real kiss goodbye, I walked out the door to the limo. But before I could enter it, I heard a loud call behind me, and running steps. I turned, and then saw Jou running up to me, and grabbing my arm. "Seto, promise me something, alright?" He said, and looked me straight in the eye.

I sighed, and looked at my watch. "If it goes quick..."

"Promise to be home by two pm." He said.

That made me frown a little. "Is that all?"

The blond nodded, and still looked me straight in the eye. "Promise, Seto!"

I sighed. "Yeah, I promise. I'll be home by two pm, you have my word."

"Cross your heart and swear to die, Seto!"

What was it with all of those promises? "Fine, cross my heart and swear to die, pup. Can I go now?"

He let go of my arm, and smiled happily. "Thanks, Seto! See ya later!" And then he ran inside again, happily grinning, and laughing.

I shook my head, and then went into the limo. At the time, I though that the promise I had made would be an easy one to keep.

I was soon proved wrong.

At the minute I reached Kaiba Corp, one of my technicians ran up to me, looking pale and sweaty. "Mr Kaiba! Thank God, you are here!" He screamed.

"What's the matter?" I asked, immediately getting worried.

"The new system, it had a big failure, and...and...if we don't fix it, the main-disc will get severe damage!"

If you didn't know it already, Kaiba Corp is of great importance to me. And I want it to be perfect. A failure in my system was unacceptable.

I grabbed my briefcase and brushed past the other man. "Then what are we doing out here?"

Soon, I was completely focused on the system, and on how I would fix it. Viruses were already trying to get in. This was very severe, and I had to make new sorts of protections to all of my programs.

When I was in the middle of erasing viruses, my intercom buzzed, and the voice of my secretary reached me. "_Mr Kaiba, sir?_"

I hit the button quickly, and growl out; "What is it, Ms Naruto?" Yume Naruto, is my secretary, a young but still very hard-working woman. She is by far the best secretary I've ever had.

And, seeing that she's married, she's not flirting with me, like my past secretaries. (Both women and men.) She had all of her focus on work.

"_You asked me to remind you of going home by half past one. You said that you had an important appointment-_"

It was then I remembered what I had promised Jou. I was going to spend the day with him, on his birthday. A promise was a promise. But, at that time, I was so hooked up with my work, so I didn't even give it one second thought when I answered.

"I'll have to cancel. Could you be so kind and call Katsuya and tell him I won't be able to make it."

Naruto was quiet for a few seconds. "_But, it's Jou's birthday today. You can't stay at work at his birthday, he's your boyfriend, and-"_

"That's enough, Ms Naruto. Call him, and tell him I can't come. Tell him not to stay up and wait for me."

A sigh sounded trough the intercom. "_Yes, Mr Kaiba._"

I was going to start working again, but hesitated. I pushed the intercom again. "And, Ms Naruto?"

"_What?_"

"Tell him I'm sorry." I didn't receive any answer to that.

Some of you might think that I was crazy to put Kaiba Corp in front of my boyfriend but, as I said earlier, I am an idiot. And I didn't think that it would be such a big deal. I mean, I have stood Jou up several times before, why would this be different?

I am so lucky to have Yume Naruto as my secretary.

Only a few minutes after I told her to call Jou, my door was slammed open, and I had to snap my head up from the computer. In the doorway stood Yume, and she looked, to put it mildly, furious. Her eyes were narrowed, and I could almost see fume going out of her ears.

"Ms Naruto, what are you-" I didn't get to finish my sentence, because Yume decided to interrupt me by slamming the door forcefully. Then she walked up to my desk, leaned over the hard wood of my desk...

And slapped me with full force in the face. Twice, one time on each cheek.

"Seto Kaiba. You are the most stupid man on earth!" She yelled at me, and glared, a glare that made my glares seem like small friendly glances.

I quickly regained my composure (though my cheeks stung horribly), and looked at her calmly. "Ms Naruto, you are fully aware that I could fire you in this very moment for doing that?" That threat seemed to have no affect, seeing that Yume just snorted, and glared at me.

"Hah! You do that, Kaiba! I don't care. But I do care about Katsuya. So listen up. Because now, I'm going to tell you what I think about you. And you will listen carefully to what I have to say, if you know what's good for you!"

Normally, if someone of my staff talked to me in that way, they would be fired before they knew what hit them. But something in Yume's voice made me listen, and not say against.

Yume poked me in my chest with her finger, and stared me straight in the eye. "You, Seto Kaiba, is the most selfish, egotistic, moron that I've ever had the displeasure to meet. And not to forget that you are a completely and utterly uncaring for other's emotions."

A curtain of sadness flashed in Yume's face before she continued.

"I called Jou earlier. Just a few minutes ago, actually. When he picked up, he was so happy and he sounded so full of energy. And that was because he thought that you were, or should have been, on your way home. At the moment I told him you wouldn't be able to make it, I could just feel the energy leak out from him. And do you know what he said, Kaiba?"

I barely got time to shake my head before Yume continued. "To quote him, 'tell him to go to hell.' And 'him' was you, Kaiba. Jou basically asked me to tell you that he broke up with you, Kaiba."

When Yume said this, I felt my heart stop. Jou...broke up with me? No. That couldn't be it. I just couldn't imagine life without him there, in my bed and by my side. My heart started beating again, but every beat gave me pain.

I still managed to keep my voice steady when I spoke, even though it was very weak. "He broke up with me for missing his birthday?"

The young woman sighed. "Kaiba, one thing you do not miss is your loved one's birthday! That is just common courtesy, and sense!"

I simply blinked. "I fail to see the sense in that."

My secretary groaned, and smacked her head in her hand. "Damn, Kaiba! You are so slow at times, you know that?" She sighed and then spoke again, with a very sad voice. "If you failed to notice, Kaiba, you have been letting Jou down quite frequently lately."

I blinked. "Huh?" Yes. That was indeed the answer coming from my mouth, one of the most brilliant brains of all times. Yume groaned again.

"Kaiba, how many times have you promised him to be home for dinner? Or coming home to spend the weekend with him and Mokuba? Or spending holidays with him? It is a miracle he's stayed for this long. You are lucky he's so unselfish."

Slowly, it dawned to me, and shame flooded me. I had let him and Mokuba down, at several occasions, that was true. But that he felt so bad over it...

"So...it's over then?" I asked, with a very low voice, and my gaze fixated on my hands. Grief flooded my senses, and all my strength ran out of me.

A low snort was heard from above me. "Not if you don't want it to be. Jou loves you, Kaiba, with all his heart. But he can't always be the one reaching out, Kaiba. No, it's time for you to make some effort. If you love him, or just care a little for him, you'll do as I say."

I nodded, and looked up at my secretary. "Yes. I'll do anything. Tell me."

Yume drew a deep breath. "Go home."

That single line made me fly up from my seat. "What! Go home, now! My company is in the balance here, the system is failing, and-"

"For the love of God, Kaiba, do you even listen to yourself!" Yume interrupts me, and glare viciously at me. "It's time for you to make your choice. It's either Jou, or your fucking company. You decide."

I look from the door, to my computer screen, and then back to the door. I then made my decision. It was one of the most unreasonable and probably the most idiotic things I've ever done.

I ran out the door from my office.

The corridors flew past me. I took the stairs in three steps at the time, because the elevator was too slow, and then I threw the door of Kaiba Corp open. I looked around myself for the limo, but it was nowhere to find. With an annoyed growl, I ripped up my cell phone from my pocket and quickly rang my driver.

"_Yes, Mr Kaiba?_" The voice of my driver reached me.

"James, get your ass to Kaiba Corp, right now! When will you be here?"

"_The traffic is awful, sir. It will probably take me half an hour to get there-_"

With a groan, I interrupted him. "Never mind. Don't bother."

My mansion is about four kilometres from Kaiba Corp, not really that far...but when you are in a hurry, it feels like it is fourth the original length.

I took a deep breath and was just about to start running, when I heard a yell behind me. "Mr Kaiba! Mr Kaiba, sir!" Another groan escapes me, and I turn around. "What!" I roar, and glare at the person behind me.

It was the technician from earlier, and he looked horrible. I thought that he needed several hours of sleep, before he would look alive again. "Sir, are you leaving? The company, it needs you hear right now, it might all be destroyed."

Normally, that would have made me run straight back into Kaiba Corp, and ignore all other people that tried to get me out of there. Before, they would have had dragged be kicking and screaming out of the corporation.

But that was before I met Jou.

I didn't even hesitate before I answered him. "I don't care. It can blow up and burn to the ground for all I care! Right now, I need to be somewhere else, to a person that needs me far more than Kaiba Corp could ever do. So, goodbye." And I turned around and ran.

I remember my heart flying far above my head, and my soul dancing around in giddiness while I ran. Those lines felt so damn good to say, and they all came from my heart. I really didn't need Kaiba Corp, as long as I had Jou and Mokuba in my life.

I don't know for how long I ran. It could have been seconds, minutes, hours or even days. All I know is that I reached my door before I could even think of what to say to Jou. If he was still there, that was. For all I knew, he could have left a long time ago.

I stare at the expensive wood of my door for a long time, before deciding to open it. I reach out my hand, and then rip the door open with one sharp tug, ready to race in and search for Jou. I didn't have to search for very long, though.

Brown, surprised eyes met mine, only a few feet from me.

Jou stood in the door, watching me with wide eyes and his mouth slightly agape. I couldn't move for a few seconds, and then I let my eyes wander over him. He wore his usual simply clothes, a pair of jeans and a sweater. When my eyes reached his face, I felt a pang in my heart.

His cheeks were wet with tears, and his eyes red, revealing that he had been crying for a long time. All those tears...for me?

It made my heart twitch with shame. I didn't want to be the cause of Jou crying or hurt, ever. All I wanted was for him to be happy. Damn Gozoburo for making me unable to show emotions, and show love for anyone! Even in his death, he came back to mock me.

My cold eyes turned to Jou's hands. There, I saw a bag in his hand, filled with his things. He was leaving. What else could I had expect? Now, it would have been the perfect time to pull him into my arms, and tell him everything I felt, and how much I wanted him to stay.

But, as I said earlier, I have problems showing my emotions.

I pushed Jou into the house again, and shut the door behind me with my free hand. Then I spoke, in a low voice void of any emotions. "Where do you think you're going, Katsuya?"

Jou looked me straight in the eye when he spoke. "I'm leaving."

The words was spoken with such a determined voice, that it made me almost give up there. But I don't do the give up thing. No, I fight to the end. It was now I should have gone down to my knees, begging for him to stay, but my shield from emotions is still in the way. So, I only say one word.

"Why?"

Jou's eyes glowed dangerously to me, and he dropped his bag to poke his finger in my chest, still looking me straight in the eye.

"Because I can't fuckin' stand it anymore, Seto! I can't stand bein' pushed aside, I can't stand bein' the only one trying to make this relationship work, and I can't stand watchin' ya leave all we once had behind!" He took a deep breath, and then continued in a softer voice.

"Remember when we first got together? You used to take me in your arms whenever you got a chance, and kiss me wherever we were. You spent every minute of yer free time with me and Mokuba, played games and had fun with us."

"And ya used to smile, Seto. You always had a smile in store for me and Mokuba, and ya showed us affection. But now..." Jou sighed deeply. "...now, all you have time for is Kaiba Corp! You've forgotten all about us, me and Mokuba. Yer own little brother, Seto!"

"It feels like we've lost ya. You're hardly home anymore, and if ya once in a while get home, ya work. Tell me the last time you played with Mokuba. Tell me when you showed me or Mokuba any affection or that you care..."

He paused and then looked at me with searching eyes. My shields had fallen down a little, and I felt quite ashamed. All those things he said...they were true. I had let him down far too many times, and I had almost abandoned him and Mokuba. I wanted to speak, but my voice seemed to have gone away, and I couldn't find it.

It was then, Jou asked that one question, that one question I did not have the answer too yet.

"Seto, do you love me?"

The question stunned me to my deepest core. It made me unable to speak, and I opened and closed my moth repeatedly, just watching him with wide eyes.

He looked down on the floor, breathed a few times. Then he looked back up at me, and looked me straight in the eye. "Seto, please answer me. I need to know if you love me, if you ever have. Or was I jus'...somethin' to pass time with?" His voice was so sad, and it carried desperation.

He then chuckle sadly. "Ya know, I've never dared to ask this question before, because I was afraid of the answer. But now, I need to know. I need to know if...if ya care." His eyes are shining, and he looks worried.

I desperately wanted to take him in my arms, kiss him and tell him that I love him. But I couldn't. But I still answered one question, one question that I was sure of the answer.

"I care for you, pup." My voice was still avoid of any emotion. I felt so much in that moment, but couldn't get it out in my voice.

Jou sighed, and looked down on the floor. "Yes. But do ya love me?"

I looked at him for a few seconds, trying to figure what to do. An idea then reached my brain. I put both my hands on his smooth cheeks, and kissed him softly. I made the kiss as sweet and loving as I possibly could, and filled it with every emotion I could. But I felt warm and wet tears run down his cheeks, and onto my hands. I pulled away after a while and still kept him close.

I wanted to have him close to me forever, and never let him go.

"I care." I whispered, and dried away his tears with my thumbs. Jou's wonderful, amber eyes filled with tears yet again, and he sobbed, making my heart clench. His voice, that beautiful voice, was devastated when he spoke.

"Seto, please...can't ya jus'...t-tell me how ya feel about me? Don'...I jus'...I want more than a kiss, I want a damn answer, damnit!" Anger suddenly filled his voice and face, and he pulled away. I didn't have the strength to hold him close. He picked up his bag, and turned to the door.

"I'm jus' gonna go now..." Those words struck something deep inside me, and I felt how desperation filled me, along with fear. I couldn't loose him. I needed him, I knew that then. He couldn't leave. I wouldn't let him.

He rose his hand to pull down the handle. I handled before I could think, and grabbed his shoulders to turn him around towards me. His eyes widen as he watch me, and I knew what feeling that I showed at that moment..

Desperation.

"Stay." That one word, I spoke with force, and with all the love I carried for Jou.

Then I kissed him again, with such force that I heard Jou drop his bag, and he had to put his hands on my shoulders to prevent himself from collapsing. That kiss, I filled with everything I had, and I tasted Jou, maybe for the last time. Strawberries, chocolate and that exotic taste...But Jou weren't responding. He fought against me, tried to push me away.

Jou turned his head to the side, and panted heavily, his face red and his eyes filled with tears. "Let go of me, Seto!" He tried to squirm away from my firm grip around his waist, but I held him. I never wanted to let him go. Tears ran down his cheeks, and he sobbed heartbrokenly.

I felt emotions tear my soul apart. To see Jou like this was killing me, and I wanted him to be happy, and never to cry again. And I knew how to do that. But those three words refused to leave my mouth. Gozoburo's old teachings was still fresh in my mind.

"_Love, Seto? There's no such thing as love. All there is, is lust." A stroke on my cheek._

"_Love makes you weak, Seto. And a Kaiba is not weak." A slap to my face._

"_I forbid you to love, Seto Kaiba. I will make sure you never love." A fist connects with my jaw._

Those lines, and thousands more, I heard in my head. The message I had told myself for all time '_If I do not love, I will not be hurt. Love makes you weak_.' But then, Jou's voice mix into it.'

"_I love you, Seto." _ Jou was able to feel love. And he was not weak. Hurt, yes, but that was my fault. He had never been weak. And he felt love. Then maybe...I could also love?

I look at the crying boy in front of me. My heart beats for him, and my soul sings for him. I then realized my feelings. It struck me hard, and I opened my mouth to say it. But the three words wouldn't leave my mouth, wouldn't roll of my tongue. The bounds from Gozoburo was too strong, and still there.

What if I said it in some other way?

I leaned close to Jou's ear, and let my breath caress it before I spoke, my voice barely more than a whisper.

"I do."

"Huh?" Jou said, and blinked. I almost groaned, as he didn't understand what I meant. How easy did I have to make it for him? A low sigh escaped me, and then I spoke again.

"Your earlier question, puppy. I do."

"...the 'Do ya remember when we first got together?'-question?" Jou asked with a hesitant voice. Another sigh escaped me, and I decide to make it even easier for him.

"No. About the, 'do you love me?'-question. I do."

I felt him flinch in my arms, and I felt that he didn't really believe me. But now, I realize that my stepfather's voice is pressed to the back of my head, and I can let go of every last bit of training he put me through.

I pulled away, and looked Jou straight in the eye. A small smile formed on my lips, and I softly caressed his cheek. I watched the tearstained face, and then spoke the words that my heart longed to say.

"I love you, Katsuya Jounouchi. With all my heart, soul and being." And I kissed him again, a slow and loving kiss with all of my love poured into it. And this time, he responded.

--------------

I smile, and raise myself up to my elbow, and watch the beautiful boy next to me. He's still sleeping, with a beautiful smile on his lips. I bend down over him, and kiss him softly on the cheek.

"I love you, Katsuya." I whisper, and then lay down and pull Jou into my arms, to get some well-earned sleep. But before I fall into the world of dreams, I hear Jou's soft voice mumbling:

"I love you too, Seto." Then, darkness consume me, and I accept it, longing to wake up.

No dream could be better than my reality.

End 

Aw...Can anyone say 'cute'? I can; CUTE!

God, I love writing fluffy thing like these...and I really love writing in Seto's POV!

So, did you like it? Hate it? Tell me in your review, (the longer the better.). Please Review, and I shall love you forever and ever!


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